Why don't you have children? -a rant

Look here…

I’m 27 years old. I’m single. I do not have kids.

That doesn’t mean I don’t want any, that just means right now is not the time. How could it be “the time”? I’m also a non-traditional pre-med student studying for the MCAT and finishing pre-requisites.

Now…is not…the time.

And while I very much love my very smart and funny nephew and niece, and the one that’s on the way that I don’t know the gender yet, I don’t think that is enough for me to have one or two of my own right now.

Earlier on in the summer, a young man asked me, “Mel, how old are you?”

and I said (at the time) “26”. He then asked, “well, when are you trying to have kids?”

I told him not right now. Because now is not the time. Another young man asked me yesterday if I had children and I said no and then he asked me “why not?”

Why don’t I, at 27 years old, have children? 

Well…

Why do I have to have a reason for not having any children at 27 years old? Don’t you know what it takes to have children? I’m not talking about sex and being pregnant for 9 months. I’m talking about life after the baby takes that first breath. 

Let’s turn the tables and ask you, at whatever age you are…? Why DO you have kids?

His response was that life happened and blah blah blah..

Okay, so “life” hasn’t happened to me yet. That’s it. Or “MY life” is happening and I have something that is more pressing for me to do right now than have a baby…

I want to become a DOCTOR. If I end up doing something else, whatever it is, I want to be successful in MY eyes and right now that does not include having a child.

ouch.

And while I have the time, while I don’t have anyone dependent on me, why not work to accomplish that? That is my baby. My education, my career goals…those are my babies. They are taxing, they require all of my strength, my courage, my will, my emotions, my beloved sleep, my sanity. My time. They will take some years to grow and become what I dreamed them to be. How about asking me that? What do I want to do with my life aside from have children? 

Very few men ask women my age that kind of question. Or maybe it’s…very few men ask me that kind of question…just so that I’m speaking for myself here.

And to all the mothers out there who accomplished their goals and took care of their children at the end of the day, you have all the applause from me. I can’t fathom doing it, I don’t know how you all did it and I suppose I’d figure out a way if it came down to it, but since that is not my case, then…*Kanye shrug*

I’m 27 years old. I’m single. I do not have kids.

Sure I’d like to have children of my own someday. But that is all my decision as far as when for the most part. There’s so much else I could say but this is a rant and I wrote everything as it came to mind so that it could be in its purest form…so that my sentiments could be felt. There’s nothing wrong with having children, everyone. But I shouldn’t have to justify why I don’t have any right now.